Faith :: 086
G’morning!
Living is Proof Enough
I gave some advice this month and it didn't go well. That is to say that the advice I gave is something I believe in, something that usually works for me. But it didn't work for them.
I feel bad about it but I'm not changing my mind.
I have a way of doing things that makes sense to me. In fact, we all have our own way. And truth be told, none of us know what "the best" way of doing that thing is– whether parenting, time management or cooking an egg.
But I've noticed that when I give advice, I do it through the lens of what I, as an individual, would do. Not just because it works for me, but I want to believe that I'm right. That I'm not wasting time. That the way I live my life is worthwhile, even though I don't know if I'm right. ...Or what "right" even means. And I won't know, maybe until my final days. Maybe even never. (I'm aware of the irony that that's literally what I've been doing for 86 months here). But we all do it.
We keep our belief system without reason or proof that we even know what we're doing. There's a word for that... Faith. Adhering to a set of ideas and truth without concrete proof or reason.
Let's explore the beliefs we hold so tightly. Because when we don't have proof or logic, what makes us hold onto that way of thinking? What makes us hold tighter to it? And what makes us loosen it? Or let go?
Cross your arms across your chest. Close your eyes.
Lean back. I got you.
Fall on.
Serendipity Game
For the last decade, I've always been looking for work. As a freelancer since 2016, I've depended on former colleagues and friends of friends to come through with a contract. And the same has been true over the last year jobbing for something more full time.
Timing matters. I'm on a contract so I can't take anything new. Or we hit it off but they're on a hiring freeze. There's a subtle magic to the timing when it works– someone is looking for work that I'm able to do at the exact time that I'm looking to do it.
Let's call it the Serendipity Game. The object of the game is to increase total serendipity in the system.
In this case, that's a fancy way to just say: Meet as many people as you can. Let them know what you're looking for. And keep it up until you get what you want. Trust in the accidental luck and magic of serendipity. How can you (fairly or not) tip the scale in your favor? Post something provocative? Make a cool project? Share some killer work? Host an event?
The universe is working conspiring to reward you right now. But it can only find you if you're working too.
Vestiges of Hope
About this time last year, I was listening to a podcast called The Telepathy Tapes. It's a documentary series interviewing families of non-verbal children on the autism spectrum. The conceit is that these kids have varying degrees of telepathy and they test it. For example, a non-autistic sister read all 7 Harry Potter books. The autistic brother had not but knew details about the stories, conceivably from reading her sister's mind. And they discover there's a "place" where many of these children "meet" in their minds that they call "The Hill." Most live geographically far away from each other and had no prior contact. And still, they were reporting going to The Hill.
There are a handful of kids like this in the series. Dozens of stories like this.
And what I loved about it was the play of faith and doubt for me. There isn't much these days that we don't have explanation for. What seems like magic is often illusion meant to trick us. What was explained for many years by religion can now be explained by science. What we once hoped for in the future, we often find by imagining a recreation of the past.
In his book Abundance, Ezra Klein talks about why politics is so focused on that: "The nostalgia that permeates so much of today’s right and no small part of today’s left is no accident. We have lost the faith in the future that once powered our optimism. We fight instead over what we have, or what we had."
There are plenty of subreddits and message boards trying to disprove The Telepathy Tapes. Maybe the experiments and journalism were not as bulletproof as they made it seem in the show.
Still, I'd rather have hope. I like believing that there are things that we just can't logically explain. There's magic and mystery in the world and that's exciting to me. It's optimism, even. In a world full of cynical trolls and doubtful haters longing for the past, I find myself having faith in humanity. And faith in our future. What else is there?
I'll Swing On Yours
If You Climb Up Mine
I imagine...
my beliefs are a scaffolding.
Planks of values along the face
Among rickety poles of morals
all tied together with faith.
My whole life I've been stacking
A haven where I can safely live.
High in my tower I protect it
When threats come get defensive.
Like many of us,
I'm not good at testing my faith.
Speaking in echochambers I can be so certain
But these days no one is shaking my scaffolding
Threatening to cave my worth in
If I'm wrong, then my whole life has been misguided.
Flip flop beliefs and I'll be chided.
Switching my face, two sided
thinking I'm the hero, but I just did what the bad guy did.
No, my beliefs can never be divided.
Stay strong, stay true... provided
that no one questions what I've already decided.
But that's what it takes
to strengthen our belief system.
To not behave like every threat makes us a victim.
To treat an intruder like someone to put your fist in
Like you're a stubborn and stormy Sonny Liston
But like a guest, to embrace and kiss him.
Let them climb your ladder see what you're missin
and venture on limbs you never knew existed
That's what it takes to make your mind untwisted
You get what the gist is?
Strength can only be measured when tested
Let them rock your structure whole
Let them swing wildly from the poles,
And I know risking a downfall is hard
But let them go too far
Let them monkey on the bars.
Test out the sturdiness of who you really are.
Our beliefs are not bulletproof, just for clarity.
Building is rebuilding, testing is key.
Don't confuse strength with inflexibility.
"What if I'm wrong?" starts to be
The blueprint to building a stronger you.
And stronger me.
Without the threat of the tower collapse
We'll never know our own gaps
To rebuild a stronger playground from scraps
Picking ourself up from our own bootstraps.
And together, reshaping our links
Realizing we don't have to hold our beliefs
as tightly as we think.
Be / Leave / Believe
I don't think I can write an Email Refrigerator about faith and not talk about god. I'm not sure I know what to call it. So let me start writing, before I've fully completed thinking.
Do I believe?
If I say no, I think everything is explainable and knowable.
If I say no, there is no mystery or magic in the universe.
If I say no, am I closed-minded?
If I say yes, I put myself in a camp with every born-again-Jesus-is-the-way person.
If I say yes, it positions me as anti science and data.
If I say yes, there's so much ambiguity and unknown.
And actually, there is so much unknown in our existence.
The spark that creates a life. Or the first life. Or the one that created the universe. Consciousness after death. Before time or outside space. The future.
Living in a fully unknowable universe means that we have to be ok not knowing everything. To constantly question and wonder but also to be content not having complete understanding and knowing.
That's god, right?
How do we find meaning in an unknowable world? Is that even a requirement? Is there meaning at all? But discovering and creating meaning, or purpose, is often connected to the idea of "something bigger than you."
And isn't god?
In the 8° snowstorm last weekend, I was shoveling snow when I suddenly felt a pinch in my back. For the last week I've been stretching and heating and trying to nurse my body back to health. Normally, I just expect it to be healthy. I don't think twice about my family waking up healthy tomorrow. I believe my heat will still be working when I get home today. And I trust that my paycheck will hit my bank account this week and my mortgage will be paid. Those things don't always work. But when they falter, I take care of them, consider what happened and then I don't have to think about them. Faith restored.
Hmm... Faith.
So maybe it's a the wrong word. Believe.
It's positioned like Santa Claus. Like, "oh honey, that's so sweet you still believe in this thing that's not real. You'll come around to sanity when you grow up." Believing is like make believe. Fantasy. The word is not belief.
It's faith.
Do I believe in God?
I don't think so.
But!
Do I have faith that there's something that can't be explained by science?
Do I have faith that there's magic in this life?
That people will continue to find each other and fall in love and create the spark of life?
Do I have faith that humanity is good, even when I have individuals that time and again disprove that?
Of course I do.
I have faith.
In the supernatural. In the divine. In the transcendent, infinite, unknowable, power beyond us. (Wanna call it god? Fine.)
Do you?
–––––
Thanks for spending a little time with me on your weekend. I know this was a long one. Thank you for your faith that reading this would be worth your time. May 2026 be your best year yet. And that today is your best day of the week. I have faith that things are trending that way anyway.
Looking forward to hearing from you. Refridgeyalater,
Jake
3 more things.
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A few topics I cut from this month: Assume Good Faith as a principle of wikis, Authenticity is being true to yourself, "I think you have to have faith in people before they earn it. Otherwise it’s not faith, right?" - Taylor Jenkins Reid
The Email Refrigerator is a monthly delivery of essays, poetry, imagery, and thoughts, written and curated by Jake Kahana. Why a refrigerator? Well, it's where we look for snacks, a little freshness, and where we hang the latest, greatest work. And besides, "newsletter" sounds like spam.